Oh, but on the Contrari
17 Jan 2013 11 Comments
by Jamie B
Tags: kids, parenting
I just don’t know what else to do to get the kid to clean her room.
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Jan 17, 2013 @ 12:10:26
I just posted one on this very topic literally minutes ago. You are welcome to check out. Hope my post will help you a little.
Jan 17, 2013 @ 12:22:43
The only thing that ever worked on me was when I heard “Either you clean your room, or your dad will do it for you!” I knew that was going to end with a LOT of trash bags, so it was a big motivator. Otherwise, they’d send me to clean my room and find me 3 hours later with my nose stuck in a book. My niece is the same way – I love it!
Jan 18, 2013 @ 19:49:49
That sounds exactly like me when I was a kid! Missy is similar. She’s not quite to the “reader” age yet, but when we send her to her room to clean, unless we literally sit there the entire time and keep her focused, she loses track and just starts playing. She has a huge imagination; I’ve heard her acting out pretty complex “stories” with her ponies.
Jan 17, 2013 @ 12:32:03
I have scheduled “clean up times” that comes directly before dong something he loves. And we won’t start whatever the fun activity is until he helps me clean. The only trick is you have to stick to not doing the activity even if you really want to do it, too.
Jan 18, 2013 @ 19:47:46
Haha! We have imposed a little of that on her, to no success. She has previously been allowed to watch a tv show (Doc McStuffins recently) before bed, but now she can’t have it unless her room is picked up. Missy is generally pretty self-content and so nothing we give or take away really works for bribery.
Jan 17, 2013 @ 14:51:58
When we get to that point, I’ll probably tell her that if she can’t take care of her toys, she can’t have them anymore until she CAN take of them. I’d leave her with a few for my sanity, and when she can prove she can pick those up when she’s done, then she can slowly earn back some more.
Jan 18, 2013 @ 19:53:07
We probably will end up stripping the room a bit more, but she’s already down to one small-ish bucket of toys that aren’t a) blocks, b) books, c) ponies or paraphernalia, d) musical instruments, or e) the ducky collection (which rarely leaves the shelf actually). We keep forgetting to get a tension rod so we can keep the closet door closed (it’s a slider) and keep the stuffies in there. We can’t take away the a, b, or d because creativity. Taking the ponies would literally break her heart (I know because I broke one of them once). She doesn’t mind the duckies too much, but they’re not contributing to the mess.
Jan 17, 2013 @ 15:51:33
That’s awesome. And, by awesome I mean I can relate. Nothing works for me except standing over them and practically moving their hands for them while they put their stuff away. Or bribing them with candy. That works sometimes.
Jan 18, 2013 @ 19:46:17
Man, bribery so does not work, and I wish it did! LOL. Her attitude is pretty much “I’m okay with it, and meh, I don’t really need that giant cardboard spaceship that Gramma gave me.” Which I guess is good, in it’s own way. I just wish I could get it into her head that putting things away won’t break her arms.
Jan 17, 2013 @ 19:46:51
I kinda hate to say it, but my first question is ” What is an age-appropriate amount of belongings to be responsible for?”. That looks like a lot, and just scooping into bins is probably not a good long term habit, even if she did it.
Jan 18, 2013 @ 19:44:33
She’s almost 5. I think she might have a lot in terms of “total number of belongings” but many of them are blocks, musical instruments, books, and the like, that we do not want to take away. The majority of this mess is her bucket of “random toys” that probably could all be taken except for the fact that she just likes them. We’re pretty tight on what she’s allowed to have (there’s 3 bins of toys [mostly gifts or things she's outgrown] waiting for a yard sale in the garage).
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