Twenty Twelve

I would like to take a moment to reflect on the past year. It’s been a particular wild one for me.

We experienced a lot of medical drama in the first half of the year.
The last half was a wild race from one event to the next. From Renaissance Faire to military events to Halloween to our (still here omg) Xmas houseguests.
It feels like it’s been a very long year but also, paradoxically, feels like it was just 2011.

I took on roles in our FRG, which I enjoy and find fulfilling, but also do add responsibilities and stress. I also started doing SEO writing, which has been enjoyable but also incredibly frustrating.

Because of all the stuff that’s been going on, we spent pretty much all of the year “behind” on chores. Mail opened but not filed. Suitcase from Faire has yet to be unpacked. We spent *literally* an entire week cleaning and organizing, before the holidays. It felt so good to dig out and be able to start the year fresh. (More trash and clutter has occurred due to guests, sadly.)

I fell woefully short of many personal goals this year. I feel rather dissatisfied with the year in general for that. I have written (for pleasure) rarely or not at all. My blogging has been neglected. My etsy shop… ugh. So discouraging.

My overwhelming feeling for the year is that time was wasted. Always wasted. Where does it go, how can I get it back. I don’t make resolutions but if I did, it would be to stop wasting time.

Among my feelings of disappointment, I have three specific bright points I want to mention.

One: I have been honored and privileged to be part of a close group of friends this year. We are a diverse bunch, but it is utterly beautiful to me to see us together. For the first time in my life, I feel honestly loved and accepted unconditionally by the people who I call “friend.” I’ve been betrayed in the past, but I know that, without fail, they will always have my back.

Two: this will sound so frivolous after that last one, but I am so happy to report that I kicked the habit of nail biting. I now have strong beautiful fingernails, and that’s another thing I never thought I would have. They are a source of confidence to me, as well as a reminder that I can be the master of my own anxieties and compulsions.

Three: quite out of the blue this summer, I received a phone call from a long-estranged cousin. She is close to my age (she is the older), and married a military man as well. But throughout our youth, we fought and disliked each other. Our last meeting, over 5 years ago, nearly resulted in a physical fight over a silly casual remark. We were both at fault for this. She has been making changes in her life, and found herself regretting our relationship and called me. That must have been incredibly difficult, but I am so glad she did. We have fully reconciled. I’ve never before had the experience of literally wiping the slate clean and starting fresh. It isn’t easy, and certainly could not be done until time has healed wounds. But, oh my gosh, I feel so immensely happy that she picked up the phone and that we both had it in our hearts to forgive and forget. We are still learning who each other are and what we have in common, and learning to trust each other, but its been so nice to take this path together. Few people in this life ever get the chance to rebuild a burned bridge, especially when both parties are still young. She and I may have wasted two decades of friendship, but we have many more ahead of us.

Overall, even with all the disappointment and discontentment I feel for this past year, I still feel that it has been a good one. I come into 2013 much richer in friendship and maybe even with a small store of self confidence, and those are worth more to me than all the treasure in Erebor.

And now, I leave you with this sentiment. Make it so, indeed.
image

Advertisements

Swamped like Quicksand

Guys. Guys. Omg. I am sooooo swamped. Like “overwhelmed” swamped. I’ve got a HUGE personal project – with a deadline! I’ve got FRG stuff and other personal projects. Then there’s my Etsy listing goals (ha ha ha) and, you know, cleaning the house and taking care of my kid and all that.

On top of allll of that, I’ve recently taken on some SEO writing! I took over for a friend and my contact person definitely dumped TEN articles on me all at once. I don’t have a “deadline” on them, in particular, but they need to be done as soon as possible.

SO, all of these things combined means that I am not going to be able to do my Web Weekends for a few weeks. It sucks. :/ I love doing them, which is why I keep doing them even though nobody ever comments, haha. But I just really won’t have the free time to reader, and especially not to compile them. I’ll resume them as soon as possible, but there definitely won’t be one this weekend, and probably not the next.

Regular blogging should continue as usual. 🙂

Goals for this week

– Catch up on Reader and resume Web Roundups

– Make more Kinstones

– Finish setting up Art Room

– WRITE POSTS

– Sort, organize & post books on Craigslist (we’ve got a lot of books we don’t want)

– Clean fishtank and post on Craigslist

– Finish SnarkArt projects, post.

– Mail out collab project!

– Cleaning house, etc, blah.

 

Haha, yeah right.

Organizing, Downsizing, and New Things

The last couple of weeks, I’ve been realizing that I’m very unhappy with the layout and working of my home. I can’t do much about the physical form of the building, of course. But I feel like my furniture is wrong and that the “flow” of the house just isn’t working. The main symptom of this is that it’s very very hard to keep it clean and organized, because it just doesn’t WORK.

I’ve been talking to Jonathan about it over the past couple of days, thinking and talking and passing ideas around. Trying to come to some decisions and conclusions about how to improve it.
Also playing into our discussion is the knowledge that we will be moving later this year – knowing that we have to pack, we have a desire to downsize and pare away the excess, as well as organize things now so the packing is easier later.

Here is a list of what I’ve got running in my head, about what I want to do with my house:
– rearrange the living room (but it’s long and narrow so I don’t know how)
– buy an e-reader and begin to pare down the books and clean the shelves
– better organization of our movie collection
– buy shelves and baskets to create “hidden” storage for the stuff that accumulates around the rooms (dining and living rooms, specifically)
– find a way to incorporate a “landing strip” where keys, wallets, mail, etc, can be dropped on the way into the house (no room near the garage door where we generally enter)
– organize the vast amounts of paperwork we possess. scan and shred as much as possible.
– downsize some of the dishes, upsize some others (I know that makes no sense)
– decor is not satisfying – change it!
– get a coat rack or two
– down size the “stuff” – is it important to me? If not, why do I have it? If yes, then is it being used to the best advantage?
– install shelves in various places (above microwave, in bathroom) for storage and display
– purchase large airtight containers, so we can buy large (warehouse-size) amounts of staples like flour and sugar

That’s all I can assemble in my head at the moment. I’m constantly scouring the internet, so I have a ton of ideas in my head for new decor, new organization, etc, and I am looking forward to beginning. (When we get our income tax return, I’m hijacking part of it for specific use on these projects.) So you can consider this list to be a preview of things to come on this blog.